You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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