He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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