Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
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