did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize