The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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