Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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