just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
