He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize