hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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