I'll bet she douches with gravy.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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