it wasn't lemon gatorade
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
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