how can u be prego again
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
