i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
You need a sexual gate keeper
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
