i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
