We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
