I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
