Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Just puked most of my soul out..
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
