Yo dont text me then not text me
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Randomize
