i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
