Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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