I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I bet he comes in French.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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