Screwed.edu
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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