Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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