Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
