I feel like abortions should bother me more
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
