I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
we should paint friendship bongs
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