On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Randomize
