Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
i think my cat just said my name.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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