you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
