this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
You ate ashes out of my bong
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
