Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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