we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
