I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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