I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
