bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Randomize
