Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
