The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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