Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
