just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize