Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
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