That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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