i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
This toilet bowl is my home.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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