the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
