butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize