Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
