Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
