ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
