shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
