By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
