when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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