i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
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