dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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