Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
you will always have a special place in my vag
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
