I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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