Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
