Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize