can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
