I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
