i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
