I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
