she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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