watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
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