did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
