I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I could make wine with my vomit
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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