Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
