I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
