Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
